Sisterhood
by Nithke
Summary: One boring night, Trinity happens upon a coalition, a society, if you will...a Sisterhood to which she belongs quite well. You may have heard of the Kickass Movie Females before, but you've never heard them quite like this. Chapter Four: Finally, Trinity
1. Spastic Me

**PROLOGUE**

In the beginning...

Well. Where does our story start? Does it begin on a dreary morning in the Real, where a bored hacker is staring morosely at ceiling pipes? No. No, it's got to be earlier than that.

How about several years ago. It was a darkened night in the Matrix...a fated evening in which two women in catsuits collided with each other on a non-strip-club-related mission—

Try again. Think "previously", dear.

Oh.

I know.

It must have been in the seventies.

Yes, the seventies. That decade that seems to have absolutely nothing to do with the turn-of-the-century leather cybergoth chic of the movie this fanfic is based upon...well, nothing except the Oracle's apartment, but that's another matter. Anyways. Yes, womyn, it began when people began to realize that a little girl was in fact just as tough as a young man and could pull off a tough yet vulnerable role in cinema—Well, no. Technically then I guess it started when the first seeds of democracy were sown, and women began to question the role that masochist pigs had placed them in—Or did it happen when the first single-celled bacterium were pushed into evolving by the world that someone had...

Wait! How did that world start, then? Who triggered the series of events that lead to the women clustered around the coffee table, the Matrix night, the bacteria, the groovy decade of feminism? And then who created the----

All right. We have to ignore philosophy, or this story is never going to evolve like the bacteria or the hair of Keanu Reeves. With a little bit of artistic license, the world, for all our purposes, begins...now. Trinity staring at the ceiling of the Nebuchadnezzar, kept awake by her boyfriend's girlish snores. Never dreaming about what boredom and morning will bring, as she discovers a secret society that will suck her in.

Welcome to the world of the Sisterhood of Kickass Movie Females. Reformatted, refunnied, and reedited for your viewing pleasure.

Hang onto your motorcycles and leather.

It's gonna be one hell of a ride.


	2. The Snoring One

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of any action movie ever created. Damn. Thanks for the reviews! Here 'tis---

Have you ever had something bother you that never used to before? Perhaps you noticed that your teacher had an odd habit of pacing forward and backwards as she lectured…and it never used to aggravate you, but now you want to tear out your hair or vomit all over your desk to get her to stop. Maybe you realized that the faucet in the next room releases tiny water drops just irregularly enough to be truly annoying. Or possibly the gnats that you have experienced all summer just now begin to land on you and suck your delicious blood.

Whatever the case, think of it now. Hold it in your mind. Remember the itching on your skin, the restlessness inside you as you wished passionately for that something to stop, just stop, please, please…

And you will fully empathize with Trinity on that night when she lay in bed, fully and completely awake when she should be sleeping. Staring at the metal wall two feet from her as she tried to ignore it, just ignore it…

Her eye muscles contracted as she tried to close them against their will, opened. Then narrowed.

Was she annoyed? Oh, you have no idea.

He, however, ignored her silent cursing. His mouth still quivered shakily as his eyes, open the tiniest sliver, rolled in their REM cycle. Steadfastly he held to his just-irregular-enough pattern of---

From his nose emanated first the tiniest whistling snort. Then came a noise like low-decibel machine-gun fire (which of course she knew very well), reaching up to a fiery crescendo of "snaaark". Where he would pause just enough so that every time, EVERY TIME, in those few blissful seconds of silence, she would think the ordeal was over.

But alas no. A whistling bottle rocket of a noise concluded that rendition of Neo's Sinus Sonata. Then it would start anew.

Snuffle-snuffle-snuffle----

SNORK---

(pause)

(longer pregnant pause)

She held her breath.

Wheeeeeeeeewwwwwww….

Trinity rolled over and backhanded him violently in the butt.

"Ow. Whajjadodatfor?" he muttered.

"Please—stop---snoring." she hissed through her teeth.

He was silent. Victory. She rolled back up, smiling slightly.

SNUFFLE-SNUFFLE-SNUFFLE---

Trinity clutched at all four inches of her hair in frustration. Finally, she came to a consensus; if she couldn't sleep, she might as damn well be useful. Uncurling, she stepped onto the cold metal floor and opened the door.

On second thought, she pivoted back and seized the scratchy blanket. An uncharacteristic mad giggle escaped her lips as Neo balled himself up and clutched his slightly hairy legs in a somniferous attempt to keep warm. Revenge was sweet. Especially when you're operating on zero sleep.

She walked into the main terminal room, guided by the eerily green glow of the screens and a slightly bitter smell, made obvious to her when she encountered Link sprawled on the floor. She sniffed again.

Yes, her thesis was correct. He _had _discovered those bottles of Cypher's moonshine they had never "gotten around to" removing….Or so the ship betting pool would be delighted to hear. This night was getting better and better.

She kicked him aside and sat down at the desk.

Idly she watched the code. Whee. What fun. Absolutely nothing seemed to be happening in the area she was focused on now—some giant night city?

She was about to switch the perspective (perhaps a male stripper show in New York would be fun?) when suddenly something in the code flashed at her.

Something moving faster than she could blink.

Was it---

No. Neo was the reason she was HERE, there was no way he could be plugged in behind her, her brain computed. So it had to be someone else. But who?

Nevertheless, her mouth gaped open.

"Well. We will have a new recruit, it seems," said Morpheus from behind her. "Do you want to go in, or shall I?"

Next chapter: Halle Berry and Charlie's Angels guest-star....


	3. Leather in the Night

**CHAPTER TWO**

Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.__

"God. If it's not ONE thing, it's another," Trinity muttered as she walked down the street. First snoring. Now painfully shiny pleather pants. Could this night get any worse?

Shut up, Trinity, she told herself internally. Just shut up. Concentrate on looking cool.

And concentrate she did. Behind svelte black sunglasses, she sharpened her vision to look for any trace of the lone coppertop. Who were they, she wondered? Who could possibly move that fast---

Her shins collided with a parked car. She winced. Of course it was impossible to see at four a.m. while wearing shades. Trinity yanked the Armanis off and shoved them into her cleavage.

Ah, now she could tell where she was. It seemed to be a slightly dodgy part of the city, especially since there weren't even any streetlights for another three hundred feet or so. Occasionally a lump in the doorways shifted and glanced at her as it readjusted the coat thrown over its body. The artificial smells that assailed her artificial nostrils were smoky, damp, exhaust-filled and stale. Nothing really moved except the bums.

"It's quiet," she said for no particular reason, resisting the urge to add, "Too quiet."

Yes, Trinity would have been creeped out if she wasn't Trinity, but as it was she only continued to stalk down the street. A navy blue Mazda van passed her by, whipping up a plastic bag, but nothing else happened.

After ten minutes this was getting old fast. She rummaged past the sunglasses and pulled out her extremely cool cell phone.

Then dropped it and whirled around.

At the corner of her vision, a shadow had darted. Faster than lightning. Nearly as fast as Neo after a Frappucino. But where was it now?

"Who are you?" she said steadily. (Trinity always said things steadily. Even as she killed you.)

Nobody answered.

Then she heard a "Whoosh" behind her and spun again. At that point, she was beginning to look a bit like a dancer in "Oklahoma--- the Black Leather Version!", but she held her poised position.

Surprise, surprise. Nobody there either.

"Show yourself!" she demanded. (Was that a quaver in her voice? Hell no. She, ah, must be tired or something. Yeah--- tired of being jerked around!)

At the corner of her eye---

Slowly she turned.

If Trinity had been a lesser person, she would have gone, "Eeep." But, as she was, she could only stare, eyebrows raised, at the woman two feet from her.

"Pleased to meet you," the woman said laconically.

Trinity took in the lady's costume, at a loss for words. Finally, she managed, "Nice ears."

"Oh, thanks. Like my whip, too?" the (dominatrix?) said as she snapped it an inch from Trinity's nose.

Trinity blinked. Nevertheless, she continued with the recruiting speech. "I've been watching you, and I have to say, you're pretty good."

"Awesomeness," the chick replied, her eyes on her whip as she casually twirled it around her.

Trinity continued. "I can't tell you who I am or who I work for, but I can tell you that we'd like you to be a part of it. How about coming by the Lincoln Street—"

She was interrupted by a particularly loud crack of the _latigo_.

"Would you mind putting that away?" she snapped.

"No, I don't think so," the lady said, still watching it as it spun. "See, actually, I believe _I _have a proposition for _you._ Mind if I borrow that?" She snagged the cell phone with the whip before Trinity could answer, kind of like a frog darting up a fly. Then she flipped it open and dialed a number.

"Hey, watch the minutes," Trinity muttered.

Dominatrix continued with her call. "Hey, 'lektra? It's me. I met this cold hard bitch down in the Bronx, and I think we have a potential candidate." She listened. "Yeah, I got the cards. Kinko's was a pain in the ass today, let me tell you…lines up the wazoo…"

"I said, keep it _short_," Trin said, somewhat less steadily.

"---Anyways, talk to ya later. Ciao," said the chick, handing the phone back to her.

"Okay. What kind of a proposition?" Trinity asked, her curiousity finally triumphing. "And I really think you should consider mine before you do any—"

The cat burglar smirked. "I can't tell you, and no. Here's the address you should come to tomorrow, though." She proffered a pink-and-black embossed business card. Trinity could dimly see a house number on it.

The woman crouched down. "Well, nice talking to ya. See you at eleven."

"Wait!" Trinity hissed, but the woman had flown into the air before the word was finished. Trinity was left standing on the street, staring upwards in a slight state of shock.

A voice came from the fire escape above her.

"And bring bagels!"

W00t- another chapter done. I'll shout all you reviewers out next week, ya hear?


	4. Coffee Shop Diplomacy

**CHAPTER THREE**

The next lovely morning in the Matrix, the artificial sun shone and the programmed pigeons strutted up and down the curb. People in black walked quickly beside other equally monochromatic souls, everyone going fast, fast, fast.

Thus, Trinity fit in well as she ran stiffly down the sidewalk, one arm pumping knifelike while the other held her ubiquitous cell to her ear.

"Okay, _where is it_? I'm ON fifth and Main and I see NOTHING, Neo. _No-thing_. Absolutely---"

"Trin. A little jittery?"

"I am _not_."

"Yeah you are."

"Are you _sure_ you hacked Mapquest correctly? Because I am running down this street and I see office, office, apartment, bagel shop, office---Oh."

(A slightly annoying chuckle.) "You know, I _am_ Jesus reincarnated, Trinity. You'd think I could---"

He was cut off by the click of her phone and the ding of the bell as she yanked open the door of Einstein Bros., then groaned. What seemed like half of the large mass of people she had just pushed through stared up at her from the line by the counter.

_No, no, no, this isn't going to work at _all_! Ten-thirty, the card said, it's ten fifteen now, I have forty blocks to get through and there is no way that Trinity is ever late. _What_ am I going to…Hey, idea!_

She elbowed her way up to the front of the queue. Several people complained, but what were _they_ going to do about it? Heh heh. Finally, she reached the second person in line, pulling out the brilliant scheme remembered from sixth grade.

"Can I have heads?" she said to the young guy, attempting a smile.

He looked at her. And looked at her. Then, finally…"What?"

Well, time to put a Current Trinity spin on it. She reached down, pulled up the pleather, and grabbed the tiny pistol in her ankle holster. Cocking the hammer, she repeated: "Can…I…have…heads?"

The smile was more of a grimace this time.

His eyes grew wide as he looked around, saw that nobody was watching or cared, and then nodded. Repeatedly. Hysterically.

"Thank you," Trinity said graciously as the oblivious woman behind the desk glanced blearily up at her. She placed her order and moved to the pickup desk.

"You know, this scone doesn't exist," she commented as she grabbed one out of the bag, munching contentedly. "But it tastes really good."

"Twelve forty-one," the woman monotoned.

Unfortunately, there were no cash or credit cards in the cleavage. But you can rest assured that Trinity-style diplomacy, with a little help from Mr. Pistol, was a relative success.

_Why did I ever pay for anything? _Trinity wondered as she sprinted down the street, bag clenched in her hand and terrified cashier screams fifty feet behind her.

&8&

_Forty blocks later…_

Despite several cop cars blocking her path and some kind of terrorist alert, Trinity had made it to the address written in pink script only four minutes late. Now, she was wasting three minutes debating whether to ring the buzzer or not.

_Who are these people anyways? Why did I even bother coming? I mean, what on earth can the …_she looked at the business card again…_the S.K.A.M.F. be? It isn't even a decent acronym. Skamf. Skank? Scamp? But we need recruits; Morpheus was just saying that the other day. The entire point of me getting bagels is lost if I don't ring this doorbell right now. Though if I do, I'm not honestly sure I'm faster than kitty in there---_

_Maybe this is something I should have decided _before_ I jacked---_

Bzzzzzzzt.

She made a whole half-jump as the buzzer jerked her out of her reverie. The same annoying woman from last night emanated through its tiny holes. "Yo, come on in. We haven't got all day, you know."

Trinity would have blushed if her vampire-like skin would have permitted it, but as it were, she simply readjusted her sunglasses and (first turning the handle) kicked the door open to enter in style.

A silent, tastefully decorated hallway greeted her upturned boot. She placed it down slowly and stepped over the threshold.

Wood parquet and a table that looked like it was…well, her knowledge of antique furniture was scattered at best, but it looked old, for sure. An obnoxiously pretty vase with even goopier flowers. Overhead—a massive chandelier. Her heels clicked as she stepped down the hall. "Hello?"

"We're in here!" A different young woman's voice echoed through the entryway from a room ahead. Trinity walked casually to the door of it and strode in.

The first thing she noticed was a small group of armchair backs—black, some approving portion of her brain indicated. The second thing was a giant flatscreen monitor where a face--- _hers---_ was munching scone casually. Trinity's eyebrows raised a fraction.

Over the back of the leather seat, a face rose, its delicate cheekbones smiling prettily.

"Welcome to the Sisterhood of Kickass Movie Females, Trinity. I'm Elektra."

"And congratulations. You've just passed your initiation," added another young woman, her face unseen. "Amidala here."

"Bagels!" came Catwoman's voice.

"Terminate all humans," muttered a blond mechanical chick in red standing by the door.

"What?" said Trinity.

- - -

Yay! Aren't you proud of me?

If people seem to like this…the next chapter comes faster. If not, then Nithke drags her feet and makes excuses. W00t.

Hoped you liked it…


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